This Little Light of Mine...

Noel Nicole Love

Memories of childhood always start in the same place every time. Watching my feet swinging back and forth, sitting in that pew, with my Aunt rubbing me on my back. I can remember wanting to tell her to "please stop".... I also felt it was weird that I didn't want to cry.

Somewhere deep down, I think I started to tell myself that maybe she is free now. Maybe that's why I chose to wear all white everything and not black. She was sick. I didn't know what it all meant, but there was no way I would've expected not to ever see her again. If I had known that, I would've gotten to know her better.

Later on in life, I couldn't figure out why I wasn't there. What if there were some final, important things that she needed to tell me that I should know and never forget? So I asked my dad.. and he just said that I was too young to see her like that.

My sister says that she got a chance to go up to the hospital before it happened. She doesn't know how lucky she is to have had that final conversation.

My mom was young. She was only 47 when she died - an age that I thought I would never make it to. If it wasn't gonna be cancer, it was gonna be the streets.

But God.

Stay tuned in,

Love Noel

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